Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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