Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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