If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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