she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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