We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
