I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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