you traded sex for a burrito?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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