matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
