and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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