No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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