so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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