did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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