Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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