dude i'm inner monologue high
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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