he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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