You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
