Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
