Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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