that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
