____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
