Where is the hickey?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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