I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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