He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
