"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
