My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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