Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
