every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
