It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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