NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
