We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
