He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
