Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
