why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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