Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
