you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
