my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
