Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
