ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
