barbara walters just said penis...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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