Soap is not a condiment
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
