any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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