woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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