When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
