u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
