dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
And my parents said I crawled through the house
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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