I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
