I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
