Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
