How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
