me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
