Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
