I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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