you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
