I just cut my nipple shaving
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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