did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize