i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
if only i could text you this smell
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
