she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize