dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
