If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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