Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
