So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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