I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize